Whew! Wasn't expecting this!

So, as you can tell I took a long weekend off. I deserve it, I do! I do! I have recently, aka the day I stopped blogging this week, found out, I am now expecting baby number 3! Don't worry I won't be changing the address to the blog to Three be a mom, one because it makes no sense, and two, because well, back to number one.

Anyway, I am in the very early stages, and have suffered a miscarriage before. I am being cautiously optimistic as the same time as trying to wrap my head around this new... development shall we say?

It is always nervewracking to be pregnant. For me anyway. I am not optimistic by nature, it is something I force upon myself. So today I get a call scheduling me for my prenatal "class". It always cracks me up, and just hearing it is a class, makes me want to skip it, or leave early, but I know the principal will call home! Darn it! LOL Anyway the schedule me for that and a viability check. WTHeck? I ran my tookas down to the office, and am like "Alright missy, what do you mean viability check? You are creating anxiety here, just drop the news!" Well apparently it is the new thing, to do an ultrasound at the same time as the class. Well hello????? I think they need to skip the V-word! Really, to anyone who has suffered a miscarriage, the V-word is super dreaded.

So I was soul searching amongst my feelings of surprise, anxiety, and worry. Why does pregnancy scare me? I had to admit... don't tell Colin... It is a complete lack of control. I can do very little, either this happens or it doesn't. There is little I can do once conception to make things alright. A lack of control, for dear old Calista... ugh! It is like Torture!!!

So that is my news! I will keep you updated!