Two Girls, Two Fish, a Bean and a Beagle

Two girls, Two Fish, a Bean and a Beagle.

Our lives are so full and so busy. For moms there is just so much responsibility whether you work or stay home. For me, sometimes it makes me want to hide under the covers with my fingers plugging my ears, while singing “La, La, La, La laaaaaaaaaa”.

Between learning to read, and doing mission projects, my girls are always needing me. I knew this going in as a parent, and for the most part I truly enjoy it. But there are times, when I feel I need me time. I mean I am so good at “me time” that I must have it perfected; maybe I should copyright my “me time” experiences. LOL

I am a great pedicure seeker outer. Want a good Pedi in our area? I can tell you where to go. Need a good coffee break, I know the place! Best place to scrapbook (other than my own scrapbook room, because my girls can find me there?) I got your number!

So why? Why? Do I not take advantage of these places, and these opportunities more often? Guilt. I feel bad leaving my two girls, two fish, hubby and a beagle (Bean is rather attached or embedded at the moment so he travels with me everywhere, no escaping Bean!). What if they need me? I mean every time I go (which mind you is rarely other than my two bunco nights a month) it is like I am committing a crime! The girls give off such guilt, as though I am abandoning them! What the heck?

So I decided to sit down with the ring leader, Elise. I had to explain to her that Daddy (Colin) wants his Elli and Emma time. Colin loves our girls; to be honest I think he hopes Bean will be a Beana, because he loves being the guy in their life. They love him too, they cannot wait for Daddy, but I honestly think Elise is trying for this power trip. Well Mama is bigger, and she ain’t falling for that.

So when I ask what her deal is? Why she doesn’t want me to go? What does she say? “Well, the thing is, if you go and I stay, then I am not going and you are going, but I am staying.” Huh? That is basically all I can get out, because I am still trying to untangle that sentence in my head. Try again I tell her. “Well, I am afraid you will get into a car accident, die, and I will never see you again.” Hmmm… Good one, but I am sensing some intentional guilt coupled with a ton of BS. “Yeah, I say, so the real reason is?”
She huffs, “Fine, I just don’t think it is fair that you get to get pedicures and go with your friends why I don’t get to.” Ahhh… The truth…

Ohhhh dear Elise. “Well my dear,” I say through gritted teeth and a faux smile, as I know realize I have been played for years by this too smart for her britches kind of girl, “When you are the mommy, you will be able to do the same.” “Well, that won’t happen because I won’t be a mommy, because you said it hurts!”. Humph! Realizing that this conversation is going no where, I kiss her on her forehead, which is a lot nicer than I want to be! Then I say, “Well I will see you all later after I hit Starbucks for my frappuccino fix, get my mani/pedi, the go the scrapbook heaven store, to peruse the aisles on no schedule!”

The Moral of the story? Mom’s need our own time! We do we deserve it and we need it to maintain the sanity and give us more patience, especially when we go through all the effort to build missions for these lovely child wonders! Right? So now I no longer feel guilty about leaving my 2 girls 2 fish and a beagle. I relish my time away, as I know it will refresh me for my time back in the trenches. I love being a mom, but I can’t forget who I was before I was a mom, because I am going to need her when the children are grown and no longer need Calista the Mom.