Yes that is one of the questions my 9 year old daughter Elise asked me following us telling the girls that we were going to have a new baby. I had to laugh, I knew the question was coming because I had read to Elise, the Body Book; It's a God Thing, in December. It is a christian view point book written in today's language and a girls point of view. It is written to tell them about the changes in their life with puberty, peer pressure, drugs, etc. It is an awesome book, but since I had read it to her she has asked about sex and what it is.
I told her that the Bible says for us to wait until we are married. By doing so we do not have many of the worldly worries such as teen pregnancy, STDs and the like. Now before I get a million comments (yeah right I am lucky to get one!) let me tell you. I believe this is what God prescribes for a reason, however, I am not oblivious to the ways of the world, which is why I want to explain to her the body processes and challenges of sex prior to marriage. My head is not in the sand. I let her ask questions, and I answered them . I told her that boys have different parts than her. She said she knew (which I had hoped so! LOL). Then she asks "Do those parts connect with our parts?" I tell her yes. She proceeds to ask, "Bare?!" I tell her yes, which is followed by the predictable "Ewwwwww!!!! Gross!!!!!". So then I tell her that yes right now it seems gross, but someday it won't, and when that time occurs we need to talk again. She agrees.
Now we had that talk, in December of last year, so when we told Emma and Elise, I knew some questions were bound to arise. The first responses were met with glee and Squeals. Elise said "I have always wanted us to have a baby type thingy!" and Emma asked "When do we get it?". That made me laugh like Bean was going to come via UPS overnight or something! I was quite happy with their responses because Emma has always been very devoted to being the baby of the family and anytime a conversation arose about having another, she was very staunch in her answer "NO! I am the BABY!" So I was quite happy with her change in attitude so now we don't have to nanny cam her! LOL
It wasn't until this morning when Elise went on to ask, "So mom, when did you and dad, you know do it?" I obviously didn't tell her. I told her mommy and daddy relations are private. I was however that we had had the prior talk to all of this. I am also glad that she feels she can ask me questions, though as the parent, I always reserve the right to not answer. I think it is important that we do not bury our heads in the sand as parents like generations past. I believe that we have the responsibility to instill in our children the beliefs that we hold dear. When it comes down to it, children will make their own decisions, but we as parents have done our job if we have given them the tools, and the belief systems that we believe are best. That is the best we can do.
So I encourage all of you to take this subject head on. Do not let society tell your children what to believe, you need to do it, if you haven't already. It is a hard topic, but keeping the lines of communication open on the tough subjects is what will allow our children to make good decisions and get help when they have made bad ones. I will always be Emma and Elise's mother, not their friend, but I still want to be there for them with arms wide open. Here is the link to the book I read to Elise, it is for girls, but there are others for boys. Check it out, I am sure you can find it on many sites, and I encourage you as usual to shop for the best deal! Good Luck!
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