Note to Self: Don't Air Family Issues in a Book... after you have blabbed everywhere else first!

Well it's official... Kate Gosselin's new book is a bomb (well at least according the celebrity news on US magazine.com). Can I just say what everyone else is thinking? Ok, it's my blog so I will! "DUH!!!!"

Here is a thought, when airing your family's dirty laundry for PROFIT, thereby memorializing your kids most devastating time to be fodder for the public, try not doing a million interviews first! I don't know, just a thought. Is there anyone surprised?

I would think not. I just want to look her in the eyes and say "Why?" for so many reasons! "Why Kate would you want to let the world in on your families demise?" "Why Kate doesn't anyone seem to care that the kids' classmates and peers will see all of this?" "Why Kate would anyone buy the milk when they can get the cow for free?". Let me clarify the latter.... Why would anyone pay for a book, when everything has been aired in interviews, by the paparazzi, leaked info by "sources close to Kate".

I think the show was enough. In the beginning it was a fun show, I think the first two seasons it was interesting and entertaining. After that it became too stressful to watch. Jon was constantly being demeaned, Jon was allowing himself to be demeaned. I wanted to yell to Kate, Shut it Woman, and to Jon, Man up! Seriously, isn't it so cliche for a man to be beaten down by his wife, so he flips out, leaves, goes wild, and rebels against his wife like she was his mother? Why not stand up for yourself from the get go, grow a pair, and not let it get to that point?

I just don't get it! I feel bad for the kids, their peers have been watching the good, the bad, and the ugly since they were still in diapers. There peers have seen their potty accidents, their punishments, etc. How embarrassing???? And remember all of this was just so they can have it video taped because they can't possibly do it with 8 kids. Well if that is the case...Why continue to try to profit from one of the most sad times in ones life?

oh and one final disclaimer so I don't get sued, since the book has gone bad, she may be gunning for an income... This is my personal opinion, for any facts please ask Kate herself... Oh and this post may cause water retention, sausage fingers, uncontrollable laughter.... etc. Read at your own risk! LOL!!! and the pic above was taken by Jon Kopaloff/Film Magic

I must have had a lobotomy!

I was slammed all day. Seriously, yes I am a stay at home mom, but that makes me super busy. Between a field trip, doctors appointment and working on the Cases for Cheer, Inc., I didn't even sit down all day (OK other than my drive time, but you so get my point right?). I kept thinking, "I need to go grocery shopping but I can do that when the kids get out of school." Say What!?! I must have had a lobotomy!

The girls are 7 and 10, how hard can it be? Oh how I wish I could take that shopping trip back! Between hopscotching on the different color floor tiles, and running into a wheel chair bound person, I thought I was going to die.

Isn't it funny how when you know things are going to be a little difficult, you try to prep the kids? "Okay girl's this is a quick trip OK, so let's just stay close and tight and we will be in and out real quick and get home." Well that is like putting bait for a shark, like letting the enemy see the map to your location, like... well... you get the point.

"Ohhh!!!" they think in their little minds.... "Ohhh... Mom is a bit frazzled, let's see if we can find that loose thread and unravel her!" Oh unravel they did!!! We walk in, and head towards the produce, hopscotching mind you, despite the look that I thought could kill (again, it's like showing the dealer my cards! Ugh!) but really just inspires them. The first collision happens, the 7 year old, nearly ends up in the lap of a wheel chair bound lady, who's look by the way, really can kill. I apologize profusely, feign a smile, and grab Emma's arm wishing I could tell her what I was really thinking, but just smile as people sneak peeks from the corners of their eyes.

The second collision comes as she decides to stop right in front of my and my view is blocked by Bean's car seat perched and locked on the cart! (side note: who thought of this design? How tall do they think women are anyway, I mean, yes I would love to be 5'10 with long legs, but at 5'6 I cannot see over the seat without my stilts!) So Emma stops, I rear end her at a very slow speed, however, the drama has now commenced... Wailing! Wailing mind you!

"Oh my gosh Emma!!! Did I hit your head?" I ask.... "Noooooo" she wails. "Your back?" I ask looking her over feverishly as the wailing, continues at the loudest decibel level I think I have heard! "A little, but you didn't even see me mom, and I really wanted those cookies!" "What?" I ask feigning yet another smile as I begin feeling the blood rise to my face and anger boil as I realize this isn't because I hit her... "I really wanted those cookies MOM!". "So", I say, smile now plastered on my face to cover the "Hulk" I feel taking over my body since I am pretty sure my clothes are going to shred and my green muscles are now bulging! "So... you mean you are wailing for all the people in 3 counties to hear because I said no cookies?" "Well I really wanted them MOM!"

What was I thinking? Shopping with three kids? Seriously? I quick turned towards the register leaving Emma in my wake. I checked out, silently... Apparently silently is a better clue to my mood than my killer look! Head hung she trudges to the car. I thank the bagger for helping me to my car, giving me time to cool off, sparing me a prison sentence. On the way home, I begin thinking... Is 330 too early for a martini?

Hollywood Moms vs The Real Mom

I don't know how many shows I have watched that are **gasp** "Reality" shows, where the mom looks like she has never had a child, no stretch marks, no dark circles, all perfectly coordinated fashion, then it shows them hand the child to a disheveled mom type, aka the Nanny!

Now I am not slamming mom's with Nanny's, but i just think that these Hollywood mom's give us an unrealistic expectation of ourselves. We expect more that we can possibly do because normal, everyday moms do not have housekeepers, nannies, or a personal assistant. You notice that on a lot of these shows, these staff members are rarely shown, because the show is about the mom and how she deals with her busy life and kids.

I watch Bravo's Real Housewives series, yes, I admit it. I am addicted. What kills me, is they have many women who are not even married, so where the wives of housewives comes in is beyond me. I watch it, and at one point, I found myself wondering why I can't look so put together, why my house wasn't as clean, even though I knew why! I am missing my staff! Ha! That is when I began to really ponder these shows. Yes I still watch, because their drama is hilarious, and often so inconsequential in the whole scheme of life, that I am just waiting for them to realize this. I am waiting for them to have the epiphany, that no it doesn't really matter if so and so wears the same dress as you, and no it doesn't matter if they use last season's shoes or last season's purse.

Life is what you make of it. These women should be giving of themselves, really giving of themselves as they are in a position to. I am not talking about giving away their money, but giving of their time, and not then arguing over who is doing what on the step and repeat, or who's name is or isn't on the step and repeat, because NEWS FLASH, no body reads the damned step and repeat! Nobody! Sponsors are you reading this?

These women need to be real, and to admit that they can do none of the glamour and all of their fab parties and socialite stuff without their staff! Admit it! Be honest, and let the average mom off the hook!

Family Fun on the Cheap!

The best times we have a family are the times that cost little to no money at all! Family time on the cheap can be the most fun due to the lack of stress or worry associated with spending money in these hard economic times. Today our family spent the day at our local park! We went to Subway (not a commercial I swear!) We bought 2 five dollar foot long sandwiches. Collin and I shared one, while the two older kiddos split the other! Bean of course had her delectable bottle of milk from home! We brought along drinks, chips and cookies from the pantry. Collin also dug out his kites from his childhood, but if you don't have kites plug in "ball", "jump rope", "frisbee" etc into that equation.

We rolled out our beach towels and copped a squat under our free shade of the lovely tree at the park. We ate lunch, we laughed, the older kiddos raced from tree to tree, then flew kites with Collin, while Bean and I shaded instead of sunned and snoozed a little. The relaxation was just what the doctor ordered!

Family fun doesn't need to cost much if anything. It is what you make of it! Remember what your parents did with you, and chances are, your kids will enjoy the same, even if there is no TV, computer, video game involved! Family time is about TIME, not Money!

Maintain Your Sanity as a Mom with a Night out... at a discount of course!

So last night, I made the dreaded mistake... I tell my household that I am tired because Bean has a cold and fever and demanded to be held all day and would love a night with no drama, if it wouldn't be too much trouble. I might as well had said, ok everyone let's have a UFC (Ultimate Fighting Challenge) event in the living room! Nearly from the moment I spoke the words, letting my dear dear children know that Mom is at a weak moment, it was on!

My husband steps in but the under the breath bickering continues. When I was at my wits end, the phone rang, it was my dear friend Dee! "Hey do you want to meet for coffee, I have an hour to kill", she says which when translated to what I heard was "Hey do you want to get out of the house to sip on some heaven in a cup?". I look at Collin and he says, "Go hon, and remember Saturday is date night!" That guy can read my mind! I suppose that is part survival instinct after being together for 17 years!

I quick grab my gift card for the local coffee house and meet Dee and feel like I have let out a sigh I swear I had kept in all day. I felt lighter, thinner, I felt the color come back to my face, and a spring in my step! Okay, okay, maybe not all that, but you get my drift! I was telling Dee about my day and listening to hers, and then told her about our date night. She said they could't afford date night. I told her you can't afford not to have a date night, and almost everyone can afford date night, you just have to be creative.

Every couple has to have a date night. They let us reconnect with out significant others, they allow us to be us without cutting up food for another person, we can dress in white if we want to because the chances of us getting sweet potato handprints on our pants is little to none. Date nights should be scheduled, they should be done regularly because after the kids have grown and left the nest, you and your spouse will be sitting there looking at each other. And if you haven't put the effort into keeping the relationship fresh, and keeping the communication open, you will be looking at each other saying, "Who are you?"

Collin and I have had date nights all over the charts. When work was great and the budget was a plenty we would go away for a night at a local hotel, get dressed up, go to dinner and more... wink wink! Right now with budgets tight, we get creative. Here are some tips to successful, yet budget friendly date nights!

1. Sitters... These are imparative to a successful date night! Sitters these days are not cheap! When I baby sat it was $1.50 per kid per hour. My mom tells me of days where she was paid 25 cents an hour, but then again she also walked to school and back barefoot uphill in the snow both ways... Save on sitters by asking family. My mom and mother in law like watching the kids a couple of times a month because they get to see the kids and we like it because they are FREE!!! No family around? Swap with siblings or friends! We also have friends as I am sure you do too! We will do swaps where one night we will take their kids so they can have a night out and one night they will take ours. It's a great way to squeeze in a playdate for the kids and a date night for you, for FREE!!!! When all else fails ask your friends who they use and who has the cheapest rate. Try for free, but sometimes, you gotta pay.

2.Carpet Picnics! We have been known to drop the kids off with the grands and then go home, make dinner and just relax together with a movie. Get the movie from your local kiosk like Red Box and rent a new release for a buck! Can't beat that! Yeah you can only keep it a night, but that's fine. Really who can complain when your date night costs you a dollar in addition to your groceries?

3. Real Picnics! The weather is now turning for the better! Take advantage of it! Look into your local parks, many have inexpensive or free events from movies to comedy nights! Our local parks and rec bulletin lists these and they also have info on line! Make dinner, bring a bottle of wine, and enjoy the weather and entertainment! Even a quiet evening at the park with your significant other, and conversations with laughs will make it so perfect!

4. Coupons! I don't know anyone who isn't bombarded by junk mailers which contain a TON of coupons! I used to just quick toss them away, now I go through them. I look for local places we enjoy and I clip the coupons! They allow us to go out as a family or on a date night with no guilt! Become a coupon clipper, search your fav places online and see if they have coupons online, sign up your email on their sites for the latest specials!

5. Restaurants.com This is by no means a commercial however, you must check out restaurant.com and see the discounts! I literally just got 5 different $25 gift certificates for $3 each! I got a link from another store (Borders, where I signed up online to be a member and receive perks), however just go to restaurant.com and sign up, you will receive their deals and they have them throughout the United States! Just beware of the stipulations for each certificate. The ones I got had the stipulation that $35 of food had to be purchased to use it, so that is $10 over the certificate amount, plus the three I paid for them, made it $13 for us to eat $35 worth of food! Please be kind however and tip on the $35, the servers make most of their money off of tips and right now everyone is hurting, so share a bit by saving a lot!

I hope these tips and tricks help! Don't be shy, write and share your ideas and I will Post them also!

Who's the Doctor here?

Oh My Goodness! I have decided to look for a new pediatrician. The girls had the BESTEST pediatric doctor ever, I know because she was mine when I was their age. When she decided to retire, before Bean was born, I nearly had a break down! How? why? What?

"How can you retire I ask? You were my Pediatrician!" I say desperately! "Exactly." she says, and in that moment I knew, not only was I losing the BESTEST pediatrician ever, I was also old.... but that is another blog.... So she gave a choice of three doctors, only one was a girl, so having girls I took her.

When I went in for Bean's 2 month appointment, I met her for the first time. I stared at her with out looking like I was staring ... I think. In my mind I am calculating her age, because at the very oldest I estimate her at 17! Not a hint of a wrinkle, bright glowing skin, boundless energy... by now I am pretty sure my stare is a glare so I look away. All I could think was "Great... Doogie Howser!" How could I trust a doctor who was younger than I, with no kids, and who was that cute? It just wasn't happening!

I talked to my friends and my mom, all of whom told me to give her a chance. Young doctors are more eager they tell me, young doctors know all the latest... yet still I had my reservations... Call it mother's intuition.... Call it ESP... Call it Calista is RIGHT!

I walked out of Bean's 4 month appointment stunned. I re-played the appointment over and over, and I half laugh, half grimace. I was so irritate, yet so stunned, that I had to at least chuckle and shake my head.

Bean was born 5 weeks early, she was little, 3lbs 13 oz. So even know at 7 months she is a mere 13 pounds. I take her in for her 4 month appointment. Dr. Howser tells me, "At 4 months we recommend starting cereal, what do you think?" I just kind of looked at her, why was she asking me? "Well," I state, "Bean is 4 months old yes, however we like to judge her milestones from her due date, which would mean that she is only 2 months 3 weeks and no where near ready for food." "Good point!" Dr Howser says, clearly thinking about what I had just said, and making a mental note.

At Bean's 6 month appointment the insanity continues. Bean is now able to eat food and so I make her food myself... The doctor asks what she eats and I told her, Sweet Potatoes, Carrots, Banana, Oatmeal, Apple Sauce, Brown Rice and Chicken. "Oh," she says looking concerned, "I hope you cut the chicken up really small for her!" This is the last straw, I can't contain myself any longer. I pull a Bill Engevall on her, "No way!" I say with all the sarcasm I can muster, "I give her a drumstick and tell her good luck!"

Seriously... I need a new pediatrician!

Out of Commission

Wow, I never thought I would be such a terrible blogger! I do actually blog in my head, but after having a baby, moving, and then having the motherboard of my laptop fry, I was just plain old out of commission! You know the saying the Mom is the heart of the home, well apparently not only is that true, but also the motherboard is the heart of my laptop! Or shall I say was....

After losing my 3rd laptop to the same demise, along with tiring of virus protection and all kinds of PC issues, we decided to go Mac and I ain't looking back... yet anyway, I have had it a whole week, and now I am thinking I am Mac-tastic or something!

Anyway, Calista is back, Two be a Mom is back, and we are going back to our roots, our money saving, mom helping, funny mom stories roots!

Come back for more please!!!