Don't Forget What You Did Have As A Child

So I woke up this morning and realized, I am not a woman of leisure! Of course, I realized that I am fatter than I thought, but that isn't the point of this post! So! Back on Track... I admit it, I am not a woman of leisure.



Sure I watch the same show you do, "Real Housewives of Orange County", "Real Housewives of New York", "Real Housewives of Atlanta". What? Um... You mean you don't watch those? Oh! Well let me give you the synopsis. These housewives (many of whom work, and some who aren't even married or living with someone, so where the housewife part comes in I am not sure) live in luxury; gated communities, upscale Manhattan homes and apartments, and Georgia mansions. Their kids want for nothing. They have the latest and greatest money can buy. What most of the kids do not have, are parents who are there for them as a parent with love and discipline. Many have the friend thing going on, but unless I am the last mom on the planet with a brain, we all realize that kids need more than friends out of their relationships with their parents, they have plenty on the playground.

When I was a child I wanted a Cabbage Patch doll, and I wanted it bad! My friends all had them, some had multiple dolls, one even had 5! I just couldn't understand why she could have 5 $80 dolls, or whatever they cost (something ridiculous), and my mom wouldn't buy me one! My mom told me that if I wanted one, I would have to save the money and buy it myself. So here I was, probably around 9 or ten, mowing the neighbors lawns, babysitting, whatever i could to get the money to buy this must have toy of the decade! So I finally get my $40 together, because it is either buy the cheaper preemie or save for a nine year old's eternity to get the larger cooler doll. I go to Toys R Us and "adopt" Michael. I love that doll more than life itself... for about a week, well OK maybe a month, but that is stretching it. What did that teach me?

It taught me that I have to work for the extras in life. I can't expect to have all the extraneous possessions without working for it. I also realized that wanting something and buying something just because I thought it was cool, probably wasn't best in the long run, as trends are fleeting.

My parents were big on responsibility, big on saving up for things. I had to save half for the water bed I wanted (hey it was the 80's remember???) I had to save half or all for anything extra. My parents had the money, but that was besides the point. They weren't wealthy, but they were comfortable. They came from modest backgrounds, and while they gave us far more than they had as children, they didn't forget to let us learn responsibility, or how to earn what we wanted, therefore making us take better care of our belongings.

As a teen I did begin to quietly resent this stance, as my girlfriends shopped at Wet Seal, and the Limited. While I shopped wherever the clearance racks would get me the best for my $200 school year clothing budget. But as I saw these same girlfriends go wild, and get into trouble, while I worked my weekend and after school job, I started to resent it less and less. As my husband and I were able to buy a house at age 20 (yes 20!) and they were still in crummy apartments, with debt out their eyeballs, I began to see the wisdom more clearly.

As a parent, my kids definitely have more than I did. They are now 10 and 7 and are now learning about chores, and saving up for things. They don't like it, but they feel so accomplished when they finally get the item they desire. My oldest at 8 years old saved up for Roller Blades. She had skates, but thought that roller blades were way cool, so I told her to save up for them! She helped grandma and grandpa, she did chores, she saved the $25 to get a pair of purple Roller Blades. And she is so proud of them! And we are proud of her!

So as we strive as parents to do the best by our children, and to do better for our children, we mustn't forget to give them our life lessons, and our wisdom, as well as discipline. This will set them up for life, not a Cabbage Patch Doll.